The Ridiculous World of Danish Children’s Television | Pretty Reel

John Dillermand is a hugely popular Danish children’s television show that debuted on national broadcaster DR (actually Denmark’s PBS) on January 3, 2021. The show is aimed at children aged four to eight and is a stop motion animation. The main character, John Dillermand, is a man in a 1920s style red and white striped bathing suit. John is unique in that he has a very, very, very long penis that can perform many feats , tame lions, save children, act as a pogo stick and more. Diller is Dutch slang for “penis”, so the show’s title translates to John Penisman.

The show has gone viral for obvious reasons, but it’s also surprisingly popular with the kids the show was made for. Variety reported that more than 250,000 children watched John Dillermand’s first episode in the first five days of its release. During the European Carnival in 2021, John Dillermand was a popular costume.

No, we can’t believe we’re not kidding or that this isn’t some hilarious parody or satire. This show is 100% completely real and a great example of the crazy world of Dutch children’s television.

John Dillermand has no control over his penis

DR Ramasjang

The jokes, they are written with this one. John Dillermand’s giant striped penis has a mind of its own. He can do almost anything with his penis, including using it as a leash for walking dogs, as a tightrope and decorating a Christmas tree with it. He also transforms his penis into a helicopter to save a group of drowning children and uses his long penis to break into a woman’s refrigerator.

There are 13 episodes of John Dillermand with plotlines that follow the situations he finds himself in which are usually caused by his comically long penis. In the series’ opening montage, John Dillermand uses his penis to tame a lion and drive it away from a group of children.

While Dillermand’s penis puts him in embarrassing situations, once Dillermand embraces and accepts the ways he is different, he learns to control it and use it for good. Dillermand’s penis is a metaphor for any childhood trait or emotion or how a child can be a little different from their peers.

Parents panic

DR Ramasjang

Because a lot of people have no sense of humor, people freak out over John Dillermand content. The Danish Public Broadcasting Network created John Dillermand with the help of a non-profit reproductive health organization and a child psychologist. The series creators insist that, despite the ubiquitous and massively long candy-striped penis, John Dillermand is as desexualized as can be.

The parents filed formal complaints with the network over the John Dillerman premise. One person wrote on DR Ramasjang’s Facebook page: “Someone has to draw the line with the new John D series. I have no idea what y’all were thinking at one time of me too. And with all the scary cases of pedophilia that exist! Should kids be taught that it’s fun to play with a dick? That it’s just a fun thing that can fly attached to balloons and other weird things…I think it’s grotesque. »

DR argues that John Dillermand is sane and talks about the embarrassment and pleasure of the body. The network released a statement responding to the critics by saying it might as well have made a show “about a woman with no control over her vagina.” people think about it.

In an interview with CNN, a DR spokesperson said most people criticizing John Dillermand and calling for his cancellation do so “without even [having] seen the series, because it hasn’t been released yet.

The theme song is absolutely insane

DR Ramasjang

John Dillermand’s theme song has been translated into English, and it’s absolutely amazing:

Hello I am John Johnson

He has the longest johnson in the world

There’s almost nothing he can’t do with it

He can swing it

He can be a little embarrassed

He can save the whole world if only he had the chance.

More Insane Dutch Kids Shows

DR Ramasjang

Denmark is the place to be if you want fun programming for kids, while feeling trippy. There’s Onkel Rejes Heavyband, about a pipe-smoking pirate who fights ninjas and joins a satanic cult in order to make his band more metal. In another quirky Danish children’s show, Ultra Strips Down lets 11-13 year olds ask questions of and about the adults who strip in front of them, to promote body positivity.

DR also has a fake news show on his kids channel called Gepetto News, featuring a cast of puppets that look like Muppets on acid. At night, instead of playing replays or going dark, DR plays a continuous loop of farting puppets. And, if you really want to see nightmare stuff, check out Mr. Calzone, a ghoulish, singing pizza. And don’t say we didn’t warn you. You can’t ignore Mr. Calzone.

As the Atlantic reported in an interview with Danish anthropologist Christian Groes, watching Danish children’s television is a bit like taking an LSD trip. CNN reported that Denmark was ranked the second happiest country in the world, and we think we’re starting to understand why.

The Ridiculous World of Danish Children’s Television | Pretty Reel