We need to talk about these unbearable child characters in the cinema

They annoy us to the point that watching the film is an ordeal. They exhaust us almost as much as if we had them in our paws. We rarely talk about them and yet they are the worst children in cinema.

Often, kids in movies, it’s cute, inspiring, it makes you want to be happy. Dear Toto in Cinema Paradisoradiant Abigail in Little Miss Sunshineupsetting Michaël in tomboy : I’m sorry, but it’s not you we’re going to talk about today.

We’re going to attack your evil doubles instead: those fictional brats so unbearable that we deserve Super Nanny to comfort us for having managed to watch the film until the end. here are the most annoying kids in cinema, selected with a generous dose of bad faith.

© Madmoizelle

“The child” in Vivarium

Overall, watch Vivariumit is the guarantee to pass a very bad time. The script is excruciatingly slow, the actors don’t believe it for a second and the final plot twist makes you want to ask for a refund even if we watched it on TV. Yet, among all that is wrong with this rotten film, there is one element that trumps the others in cringe : the kid.

Half child, half alienthis fanatic howls whenever he wants something and doesn’t stop until you serve him. During breakfast he lets out an ear-splitting shriek until the milk has been added to the cereal and the spoon is in his hand. Another subtlety: his alien side gives him the ability to imitate to perfection all the sounds he hears… practical when you know that your favorite activity is to spying on her parents at night.

If you are looking for independent American filmmakers far more talented than Lorcan Finnegan, this selection should interest you.

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© Youtube screenshot.

The twins in Little mom

You may not know it but Little mom, this is Céline Sciamma’s latest film. Only, it is also the most soft, sad and gray that we have seen in 2021. At the heart of this family drama where not much is happening, there are Nelly and Manon, two little girls so extinct that they look like they were born from a night of love between two Dementors.

In this film where it rains constantly and where the adults have deserted, the little girls do what they can to keep themselves busy. They spend most of their time wear ugly winter sweaters and to walk around the house dead grandmothers. Warning: there is even a time when they sketch a smile (because they cook pancakes and spill some – it really is movie climax). Certainly, behind all this, there is a metaphor about transmission, motherhood and depression. But we still feel immense pain for these little girls, 52 years old.

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© Pyramid Films

Dilili in Dilili in Paris

If this article was called Top 1 of the most unbearable kids Dilili would have been the Chosen One. If you don’t know her, so much the better. And if it had to be presented anyway: Dilili is the heroine of Michel Ocelot’s latest film, Dili to Paris, a racist pamphlet and Islamophobic released in 2019, which we absolutely advise against.

Everything is catastrophic in the character, who concentrates everything that is wrong in this super problematic movie. The 78-year-old director imagined a Kanak orphan, who came to metropolitan France voluntarily” to “work” in a human zoo. According to Michel Ocelot, slavery was a job, “chosen” by colonized people – including children.

During 95 endless minutes, Dilili speaks the least natural French in the world, so many liaisons and strong vocabulary worthy of the Comédie-Française. When she meets a new person (which happens every five minutes), she repeats the same refrain in her high-pitched voice: “My name is Dilili, I am happy to meet you. » Quickly, this sentence makes you the same effect as the drop of water in the torture of the drop of water.

Admittedly, Dilili is annoying. But, more seriously, it is above all a sign that it is urgent to stop to instrumentalize children’s characters to disseminate deeply racist theories under the guise of “innocence”.

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© North West Films


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Featured image credit: © Madmoizelle

We need to talk about these unbearable child characters in the cinema