At the foot of the Cross Satan’s last desperate attempt: “Save yourself!”

There I was too, on the top of that little hill outside Jerusalem, among the soldiers eagerly contending for your robe and the high priests who cursed you for your claim to be the Only Begotten of God.

I’ve always been there! Since the night you came into the world, in that poor cave in Bethlehem, rich only in the love of your parents. Above all of that woman whose name I cannot pronounce, we are so distant and opposite: she is a colossus of humility and I of pride, she is a lily of purity, I am a sewer of perversion and shamelessness, she is filled with an indomitable faith, I am enslaved to arrogance. and to rebellion.

I’ve always been there and I’ve always tried to stand in your way. I knew I couldn’t avoid your incarnation and your Father’s plan to save the world, to bring it back into his bosom after I had confused the hearts and minds of Adam and Eve, deluding them that they could be their own god. I ensnared those two, the ancestors, with the myth of a freedom without ties and without responsibility, thus making them slaves to every vice and passion, weather vanes that have no lifeline.

I certainly couldn’t stop God from bringing man back to himself, but at least I tried to thwart this project, to empty him of the most important aspect: love!

Save man too – I said to myself – but through an act of strength and power, showing who you really are: the Almighty, the Creator of the world and Lord of history, who with a single word is capable of wiping out every being in Heaven and earth. Man believes as well, but forced by the evidence, frightened by the imposing presence of God, terrified by the fact of being able to suffer terrible punishments in case of further disobediences and lukewarmness.

Save him like this, the important thing is that you don’t use love! Terror yes, but not love!

Every act of love performed on earth is for me like a bludgeon on the head… an unimaginable pain! The more love spreads – what you teach and not that parody that I gave to the world – and the more I weaken!

This is why I followed you into the desert, in those forty days of fasting and prayer which prepared you for your mission among the peoples of Galilee and Judea. Already in that place, swept by the wind and silence, I tempted you by showing you the easiest way, free from all suffering and painful refusals, the one that would have led you to impose yourself on man, making him a puppet in your hands, thus removing him from any responsibility, preventing him from understanding the greatness and power of love!

I was there when you multiplied the loaves and fishes arousing in the crowd the desire to be king because you had filled their bellies. I was in the hearts of your disciples when they wanted to send fire from heaven to burn the villages that had rejected their preaching. I insinuated myself into Peter’s conscience when he wanted to prevent you from going to Jerusalem to die, like a meek lamb being taken to the slaughterhouse. I have always tried in vain to push you to show yourself in all your greatness and omnipotence, in a royalty that feeds on domination and subjugation. Instead, you’ve always had another idea of ​​a King. For you, reigning means only serving, in humility and in hiding! Authority is never a privilege, but a responsibility!

In short, I have always tried, in every way, to make you desist from the Cross, from that supreme and ineffable act of love which would become a source of inspiration for many men and women over the course of future centuries.

I have tried everything to weaken you: the betrayal of Judas, the denial of Peter, the terror of your apostles, the hostility of the crowd, the ferocity of the Romans, the wickedness of the high priests, the stupidity of Herod. I put cruel and arrogant humanity before you because you convinced yourself that it didn’t deserve so much benevolence and mercy!

I made my last desperate attempt at the foot of the Cross when, in complete solitude, you were about to offer all of yourself to the Father, in a perfect act of obedience. In truth there was a person: your mother, swollen with pain and nobility, eager only to relieve you a little of that pain, as any good mother would do next to her own suffering child.

Desperate, I wandered among the soldiers and priests putting the last great temptation on their lips; the one that always has a hold on men with a tired and mediocre faith: “Save yourself!”. I even entrusted myself to a perfidious assassin who was suffering the same fate as you.

How many times, playing this card, have I drawn men to me! Saving yourself means always finding the easiest and fastest shortcut to avoid responsibility and above all the suffering that always arises when you decide to love for real! Saving yourself means never getting involved with others, but rather using them as long as they suit you and then abandoning them to their fate! Saving oneself is the intoxication of always feeling successful, honored and adored, served and revered, masters of reality and truth.

If you had come down from the Cross everyone would have believed in you, they would have prostrated themselves at your feet and they would have led you to glory in the great time of Solomon. I hoped to the end that the mockery of your executioners, the pain of the world that oppressed your heart, the sin of history that pressed on your exhausted shoulders, the desire to show the greatness of God’s justice would have convinced you to detach yourself from that infamous wood! You would have shown yourself what you are: the Lord of time and history! Unfortunately you stayed there, you embraced your destiny to the end keeping nothing for yourself. You saved them by showing them that there is a way out of the tyranny of the ego, of the insolence of evil, of the darkness of sin: it is not to run away from the Cross, the last true bulwark of truth and freedom. You saved them, by losing yourself! And you condemned me forever to flee from every gesture of love that finds its source and its end in you.

At the foot of the Cross Satan’s last desperate attempt: “Save yourself!”