BARI – The parody of Bari’s Usb (Basic Trade Union Union) spread on Facebook is making the rounds on the web, featuring the third (hypothetical) season of the record-breaking TV series, set in the Apulian capital, “The investigations of Lolita Lobosco”, broadcast on Rai1 for the second season. More than a parody, it’s a satire outright: an ironic j’accuse that the USB reproposes by recounting the typical problems that a person from Puglia and Bari face every day in this “jungle” of life. From the hitches with health care, to employment problems, up to the increasingly deficient transport hub.
Here is the excerpt posted on social media.
USB BARI WRITES THE THIRD SEASON OF “THE INVESTIGATIONS OF LOLITA LOBOSCO”
Well yes, we really like this idea of promoting the traditions and typical products of Bari through popular television series filmed in the city.
So, after stoned accents, octopus sandwiches, invoices and the evil eye, we allow ourselves to make some proposals to strengthen the “Bari” brand in the third season of Lolita Lobosco.
First episode: Lolita, after a brilliant police operation, decides to relax while sipping a coffee in a trendy little place in the centre. She discovers that all the staff in the bar are underpaid, they work 12 hours a day even though the contract only provides for 5. Lolita swears to herself that she will start an investigation and will, from that moment on, only go for coffee in bars that respect labor law. Flashforward: Lolita after 7 months decides to buy herself a family-sized mocha, which she makes before her.
Second episode: Lolita has to book a mammogram at the ASL. They fix it for him for the seventh season.
Third episode: Lolita, on vacation, strolls along the Costa Ripagnola. The images are breathtaking, but Lolita’s attention is captured by a poorly covered hole. She understands that the body of a person who has been reported long missing may have been buried there. So she goes back to Bari in a hurry to get a warrant signed. Within two hours a large force arrives at Costa Ripagnola, but they find a luxury resort built in record time in an hour and a half. All archived, but we celebrate the same with a spaghetti with seafood.
Fourth episode: Lolita in a very delicate moment of her professional life, discovers she is pregnant. She decides to have an abortion and looks for a non-objecting gynecologist in the ASL. Flashforward: after a year, Lolita nicely brings the triplets born 3 months earlier to work in the office. Due to the accumulated stress, she shoots someone who had parked on the driveway of the Police Headquarters, putting her career at risk.
Fifth episode: Lolita discovers a swirling round of bribes in the hands of the regional Civil Protection. The wads are picturesquely hidden in some slices of beef. The episode closes with one of the defendants explaining the secrets of horse brasciola to Lunetta Savino.
Sixth episode: Lolita has to go to Matera to testify in a fundamental trial for diamond trafficking. She takes a Fal train. When you arrive in Matera, the crime has already been prescribed for two years.
Seventh episode: Lolita has to investigate an incredible mystery, an incinerator that built itself in the San Paolo district without anyone in the institutions being publicly in favor. The episode closes with the secret recipe for Acquaviva onions under ashes.
Eighth episode: Lolita Lobosco must defeat a gang of school educators who, not being paid from June to August, decide to smuggle cigarettes during the summer, finally discovering the meaning of the concepts of “decent wage” and “sustainable hours”.
Ninth episode: a terrorist tries to hijack an Amtab bus. The bus loses the distributor. To be continued…
Tenth episode: the bus loses its muffler, and in any case runs aground on via dei Mille due to double-parked cars. To be continued…
Eleventh episode, SEASON FINALE: Lolita boldly gets on the bus, the passengers get agitated because they believe that the police want to ask for the ticket. Lolita negotiates with the terrorist to get them off by offering herself as the only hostage, succeeding. When everything seems to be going well, the bus inexplicably catches fire. Everyone shouts: “the embers are lit!”. From the flaming carcass of the vehicle, a figure can be seen coming out and walking with incredible calm. It is the driver who lights a cigarette and reassures bystanders. “wagnù, everything is regular”. Will Lolita be saved? We’ll find out in season four.