[Satire à vue] Sandrine fails to defeat Sardine

I am Sardine. On Twitter, messages of support are pouring in. The “Sardine Ruisseau” parody account has been suspended. Its thousands of “followers” show their dissatisfaction. They are Sardines. “Give us back Sardine Ruisseau!” Thunder rumbles. “Surmulots news” gets involved and provides support. The fever wins the social network…

In front of her screen, Sandrine Rousseau savors her victory. “Will a year of cyberbullying come to an end?” she wrote on her own account. An unconditional follower of bans, the EELV activist dares to believe that political humor is now classified X. The next step will be to obtain the destruction of sardine cans in supermarkets. The ban on fishing these far-right fish would be the apotheosis of the fight… While the ex-offended begins to dream of a magical tomorrow, suddenly, the news falls like a cleaver on an eco-responsible zucchini : the parody account has been restored.

Faced with the wave of protests, Twitter has brought the nightmare of the teaser of progressivism back online. Boosted by the controversy, it is only 7000 subscribers away from the official account of the complainant. A “sardinethon” hashtag is launched to reach beyond the audience of the original version. The “funnysphere” and defenders of freedom of expression are mobilizing. After a few hours, the feat takes the breath away of observers. Eyes filled with tears, the high governance of #sardineruisseau announces this unprecedented moment in the history of Twitter. A parody account has managed to gather more subscribers than it is making fun of.

Morale completely deconstructed, Sandrine Rousseau accuses the blow. He needs to find a more convincing argument than cyberbullying. Emmanuel Macron announced the end of abundance and recklessness… There is a track to dig there. Is there no worse recklessness than this amusement at the expense of the woke globalists? The president must be alerted to these misconducts. What am I saying? On these incivilities! Sandrine calls the Elysée… A toll-free number must be set up to report the carefree… Those and those who laugh in public spaces, the happy lads of social networks, anything that jokes and is ironic cannot continue to jeopardize the advance of a perfect world. A confinement of sadness must be put in place, the sellers of sardines arrested, Patrick Sébastien, the unforgettable author-composer of the song Les Sardines, sent to Cayenne… The young woman is inexhaustible. Aware that sooner or later she will have to drop the mask and confess her love of censorship, she can count on macronism to save her from this tragedy.

On the anti-woke battle front, the teasing author announces a gain of 40,000 subscribers generated by this ephemeral censorship. Ah, what we are (more and more) tight at the bottom of this box!

[Satire à vue] Sandrine fails to defeat Sardine